A grumpy motoring journalist says farewell to his ebike

If you have been following the semi-regular updates on my attempts to bring a bit more fresh air into my life and cut back on ruining that fresh air by riding an ebike, then you will already know I love the bike, but it simply didn’t work for my daily commute.

The need to rely on public transport timetables (I would need to use a ferry to get to the office) was simply too inflexible for the way I live my life (ie: random, chaotic and almost totally unplanned), so instead it just became something I enjoyed riding, often replacing the car for a short trip up to the supermarket, but also simply for enjoyment.

But because life likes to kick you the hardest where it hurts the most, I had to give it up… And in this case “kicking you the hardest where it hurts the most” is not just a figure of speech – it was pretty much literal.

After doing a masterful job of avoiding Covid for the last two years, the inevitable finally happened and I tested positive on literally the first day of the first few weeks off work I have taken in several years. Because of course that happened.

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It did, however, lead to one of the most relaxing holidays I have ever had – holed up in isolation mixing a blissful blend of sleeping, reading, movies and video games for a week, with an extremely mild case of Covid, surviving on Uber Eats; it was actually quite brilliant. But while my experience with having Covid was extremely mild, the after-effects were not quite so relaxing…

One side-effect of Covid that isn’t really talked about (well, I’d never heard of it) is the fact that it can trigger prostatitis in men. Prostatitis is basically an inflamed prostate, usually caused by a bacterial infection, but apparently Covid can trigger it, particularly in men who are susceptible to it. It really is the gift that keeps on giving…

One of the most fun parts of prostatitis is that it pretty much presents with the same symptoms as prostate cancer, which is always a laugh. “Fortunately” I have experienced it before, so rather than raging anxiety caused by a Google self-diagnosis, I simply phoned my doctor, described the symptoms and told him what I thought it was (they love that).

He agreed with me that it was prostatitis and casually threw in “of course, you’ve just had Covid too, so that can trigger it…” which, I’m not gonna lie, blew my mind.

I mean, what business does a virus that is primarily known for attacking the lungs have messing around down there? Stay in your lane, buddy. Keep out of the plumbing – there is already enough that can go wrong down there without you getting involved. It’s just another reason why Covid is, to use a medical term, such an utter bastard.

So, of course, it triggered it in me. Deep inside me. In a place rarely seen and only talked about in hushed tones. In a place that makes sitting on a bike seat a particularly unpleasant experience…

Hell, it made sitting or even standing for longer than about 20 minutes at a time particularly unpleasant, so the bike was out, even though it had a very comfy seat. Well, for a bike.

So I passed it on to Nile Bijoux, who is not only younger and far less grumpy, he also lives in a place where it is possible to do his entire commute on the bike alone, with no public transport needed. So that is what he will be doing.

While my attempt to commute was pretty much a failure, I genuinely did enjoy my time with the Black GT loaned to us by Electrify NZ – it may not be a top-end ebike, but for the money asked it did the basics extremely well, and was comfortable and well built.

While the $2499 Trail and City models open the Black bike range, the GT is the next tier up, but with its $4299 price still placing it in the entry level for ebikes. While this was my first experience with an ebike, so I can’t make comparisons to more expensive models, the GT impressed me with its performance and usability.

It was a delight to blast around on, even using minimal assistance, and did actually increase the amount of exercise I was getting on a daily basis. In fact the only two things I didn’t like about the experience weren’t the bike’s fault – riding in Auckland traffic and the lingering fear of theft were the things that bothered me most during my time with the GT.

The latter can be sorted with a good bike lock, but adds extra faffing around when popping down to the dairy, but the former… well, that took a bit of getting used to. It will be interesting to see how Nile feels about that.

My conclusion from all this is threefold. Firstly, ebikes are great. I loved my time with the Black GT and, even if you are old and grumpy like me, an ebike really can bring a lot to your life. Plus it is just a very nice way to get around.

Secondly, have realistic expectations about what you will use it for. If, like me, your plan was to use it for the commute, only to find out that your poor research of local ferry timetables ruins that (hey, I wasn’t spending my own money, so the stakes were lower…), it can make it an expensive dust gatherer in your shed. But you will most likely still end up loving it anyway and riding it for enjoyment, like I did.

Thirdly, if you are a bloke, look after your prostate. While he is a useful little bugger, he can make your life very unpleasant. Check out the Ministry of Health’s Kupe.net.nz website for more help and information on the little gland that can feel so damn big when something goes wrong…