Why F1 would have been a sexier sport than hockey for Heated Rivalry’s Shane and Ilya

The Canadian Grand Prix is happening this weekend in Montreal, and honestly, I think one of the sexiest things about Canada is that Montreal hosts a Formula 1 race. I don’t really care about Formula 1, in practice, but in the abstract, it’s super sexy. It’s fast cars and hot boys and danger at every literal turn. Is there a sexier sport? I think about this a lot: Heated Rivalry should be set within the world of F1.

I asked a while ago why is hockey such a popular setting for romance, and while points were made about the inherent homoeroticism of the sport—that’s all male sports, frankly—and the ability to explore evolving masculinity in a traditionally conservative, even toxic space, the number one reason cited is because hockey is overwhelmingly white, and there’s a sort of dark appeal to that for some readers. That is also a big reason Regency romance is so popular, and if you think race has nothing to do with it, just look at the multi-year, ongoing meltdown that happens every time a new Bridgerton cast member is announced.

Ever since I first saw Heated Rivalry, though, I thought F1 would be a WAY sexier sport for Shane and Ilya (although I don’t think F1 fixes the weird whiteness thing). Can you IMAGINE Ilya Rozanov’s paddock fits? The whole “Shane gets a stylist” plot point becomes a MUCH bigger deal in the context of the paddock. To wit: Lewis Hamilton arrived in the paddock today in all black, with a motorcycle helmet. I choose to see this as a Daft Punk homage, don’t take it away from me.

And then everyone else is just a sea of athleisure, which is very Shane Hollander-coded. The setting is primed and ready. I can’t help but think about Heated Rivalry on tarmac, all heat waves and revving engines, “churning and burning/they yearn for the cup”. Powerful cars, hot vroom vroom boys. What I’m saying is, if you have a line on a Heated Rivalry F1 AU, please send me the link.

What else happened today…

There’s too much “maxxing” in the world. Let’s all agree to “minus” for a while. (Popsugar)

Ruth Wilson is in Cannes supporting a movie called Victorian Psycho (you have my attention) and she is making CHOICES with her CLOTHING. Most of them are really good. (Go Fug Yourself) 

Notoriously Difficult Man Tom Hardy has been fired from Mobland because he couldn’t stop being notoriously difficult. Oh no, we won’t get to hear his silly voice for a third season. How ever will we live. (Celebitchy) 

May 25^th is the ten-year anniversary of one of the best, funniest, and most chaotic episodes of television, episode 209 of The Chris Gethard Show, the infamous dumpster episode titled “One Man’s Trash”. To mark the occasion, Liz Shannon Miller interviewed a very special subject, but before reading her interview, you must give yourself the treat of the episode itself. For ten years, the internet has protected the surprise, one piece of pop culture we collectively decided not to be assholes about and let everyone experience in their own time. You can watch the full episode on Youtube here.

Once you’ve done that, indulge in Miller’s interview and delight in the reveal of how this very special episode with its very special surprise came to be. It involves petty interference, pretzels, and one of TV’s best surprises. Truly the chaotic good we deserve. (Consequence)