Never mind the varying tilt of the earth’s axis
Nor its changing elliptical orbit around the sun
Never mind the mighty fireball’s great flares and fluctuating cosmic rays
That shape the planet earth’s clouds
Nor the cycles — stretching for years, decades, centuries — of circulations in the seas and the atmosphere above
Never mind the earthquakes, the volcanoes
The vast spewing of ash and water vapor (eldest brother of the greenhouse gases)
No, allow no such sundries to color your straight-as-arrow view of climate
For it is that molecule CO2 that needs to be set in the sniper’s scope
Blast it, eliminate it
For it contaminates mother earth’s blessed pristine virginity
CO2, begone, foul fiend!
Temperature, that is all you shall eye
For that is what your mortal coil demands
Heat, your enemy, needs killing lest it kill you
And cold, your friend, don’t let disbelievers convince you otherwise
(Though it may well be that the cold kills far more than heat
By ten times, even)
Woe unto you if you stray from the path
Destined for you, in the mainstream media
For the crime of skeptical reasoning or the reading of skeptical writing
Will prove your downfall
Be good, do good, virtuous folk
For the Valhalla of clean living and a pristine, virginal earth awaits you
Just complete the journey, exit that foul emanation
CO2, begone, foul fiend
Hail to St. Greta, hail to Gore
Hail to Mann, his haloed hockey stick
And say nay to Happer, Clauser and Lindzen
For they bring the shadow of death
Minions of that poisonous gas
Foul fiend CO2
Tilak K. Doshi
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