Life is dramatically different now for CJ Stander. In the past year, the former Munster eight has relocated back to his country of birth, South Africa.
The life-changing move has seen Stander, his wife Jean-Marié, and young daughter Everli settle in Paarl, a town in the Cape Winelands that is well-known for soaring temperatures that often reach 40C in the warm summer months. It’s a far cry from Limerick on a gusty Saturday night.
In recent months, Stander has also traded his rugby kit for more traditional workwear after taking up a key role in project planning and business procurement for a highly-successful construction company.
His playing field is no longer Thomond Park, but rather the picturesque Val de Vie estate, which is surrounded by three mountain ranges and is home to the world-famous Pearl Valley Jack Nicklaus Signature golf course. The luxury lifestyle estate is where Stander both lives and works after opting to swiftly transition from a professional rugby career into a challenging but rewarding ‘day job’.
“Real life has actually slapped me in the face straight away,” Stander says.
“All those lovely massages and naps that I used to have on my days off or on a big training week — they’re all gone. Back then I was told how and when to train. Now, training is a luxury. On a typical day, I wake up at 5am, do some gym, hopefully, play with my young daughter a bit, and then get ready for a full day of work.”
As a project controller for Val de Vie Construction, a typical work day for Stander involves client meetings, overseeing on-site work, completing quality control checks, and formulating project pitches. “My main focus points are related to budgets and keeping the timing and quality of construction on track,” Stander says.
It has all represented a whirlwind change of pace for the former Ireland international, who featured 51 times for his adopted country. After retiring from all forms of rugby and returning to South Africa in the second half of 2021, the plan had initially been to take a year off before deciding what should come next.
However, Stander reveals that a love for construction and providing clients with their “dream homes” led to an unexpected job opportunity that was too good to turn down; although it has required a steep learning curve when it comes to time management, leadership, and responsibility-sharing.
“It honestly feels like a different life,” Stander says. “I know it’s going to sound weird to say this, but when I retired, it was almost like a funeral. It represented the end of my previous life, I boxed it up and there was never a thought of going back. But I also have to say that when I finished my last game, I really needed support. I went through a massive dip where I wasn’t sure what was going to happen or exactly where I was going to turn next.”
To his good fortune, though, Stander’s wife is the sister of famed former South African Olympic gold medalist Ryk Neethling, who was able to share words of wisdom about transitioning to life after sports retirement.
“We sat down, had a few beers, and chatted about life and what I wanted to do… It made such a big difference to have that family support, because I almost had to rebuild myself to a place where I was confident that it’s going to be fine in the real world. It’s funny now how different life feels.
“The other day, someone asked me for a signature. I’ve got two: my normal one, and one that is a bit more recognisable and that I used when signing autographs as a rugby player, but I couldn’t remember how to do it,” he recalls with a laugh.
For Stander, the decision to retire at the age of 30 was not taken lightly, and understandably caught many by surprise.
Yet, it was also a well-considered life choice based largely on doing what was best for his family.
“Coming back to South Africa has made a big difference,” Stander reflects.
“I mean my daughter just can’t wait to wake up in the mornings, and we have a new ritual when I get home from work where we go and feed some fish in the river, and small things like that are a massive highlight of every day. Just in general we also have lots of family nearby and it’s amazing to be able to so easily make plans to see each other regularly.”
Yet, the fact remains that Stander is still young, fit, and active. It would be understandable if he missed the game of rugby or wondered whether he hung up his boots too soon. Does he have any regrets?
“None as yet. When I decided to make the cut from the game, that was it, I’m done. But I do get emotional sometimes, like when I look back at old games such as the Six Nations Grand Slam when we beat England, and seeing the clips of that when we got our medals. I get emotional not because I miss it, but because it was such a special occasion.
“At the end of the day I’ll always have those memories to reflect on and share with my family. I never thought I’d reach the levels I did as a professional rugby player, and I’m really proud of what I was able to achieve. It’s a lesson I want to pass on to others and young players: what you can achieve is unlimited if you just go out there and work hard.”
Even upon retirement, Stander has previously mentioned he felt capable of playing for several more years, but that’s not a suggestion he would consider a comeback at any stage.
“You do see guys who retire, go back, retire, play again. Obviously, there’s different reasons and you can think, ‘should I, shouldn’t I?’ I probably have a bit more in me. I’m still fit and strong, and running 10kms with my wife on the weekend.
“But I honestly had a sense that I had dipped slightly in my performance towards the end of my career, and I felt guilty — almost to myself, not to anyone else — that I couldn’t maintain that top level. That made the decision easier. I see guys playing now and I think to myself, ‘it’s tough there! I wouldn’t be able to do it any more’. So I’ve had no regrets so far, and I don’t think I ever will.”
What remains clear as ever is that Stander is a man of conviction, loyal to the core. These characteristics defined his career at Munster, having arrived in 2012 as a 22-year-old who only had two kitbags flung over his shoulders, and a limited command of English — as he puts it. Nearly a decade later, he would leave Munster as a legend of the club, and with 156 caps to his name.
What led to this longevity and commitment to one team?
“When I walked into the club, I realised that this is a place where, if you work hard and buy into the culture of the team and the community, then you can fit in. Limerick was, and still is, very close to my heart. Munster was a club I could relate to: you work hard and you get out what you put in. I also very quickly realised that it’s not about me, but about the people who work there. The baggage guy is the brother of the bank teller who works just around the corner; everyone knows everybody, and for me, that was important.
“Munster also showed a lot of loyalty to me, they decided out of the blue to sign a guy from South Africa and put a lot of trust in me. It took a few years before I could finally repay that loyalty through my performances. Throughout my whole career at Munster, I only once had a talk with my agent about maybe seeing if I should move somewhere else, but I just knew that it would ruin what I had with the club.
“It’s such a special place, where I could walk around and be recognised not as a rugby player, but as me, CJ, just a normal guy. I could have conversations with people in the street and I could feel that this was really just working, that the club was bringing a lot of enjoyment to kids and to adults, and vice versa. It was the full package.”
Stander and his family have now put down roots in one of the most scenic parts of South Africa, Paarl, 60 kilometres northeast of Cape Town.
“I’ve come from probably the coldest place I know to the warmest place I know,” he smiles.
“Of course, we do miss Limerick. We were lucky to live in Castleconnell where there was a wonderful community spirit and some of our favourite restaurants. But the nice thing about Paarl is that I can come home from work, jump in the pool, head to the farm, or drive to the beach. And of course there’s that family connection, we all got together for Christmas and had a massive leg of lamb and a few drinks. It was very different from when I’d usually be preparing for a rugby game at that time of year.”
Stander is now able to enjoy putting his feet up to support Munster purely as a fan, with a beer in hand.
The former loose forward says he will always follow the team’s progress, while he has taken note of coach Johann van Graan’s decision to depart the club.
“I was with Munster for such a big part of my life, and you could say that they changed me as a human being and made me understand what it takes to be a professional. I’ve got friends there that I still talk to, and I’m still on the edge of my seat watching their games, hoping they’ll do well. I think there’s a lot of talent at Munster at the moment that just needs to be put in the right place.
“Johann is a big friend of mine — I can say that now that I’ve finished playing — and it’s sad to see him go, but sometimes a new challenge can be a good thing. On paper at Munster he did very well: we got to finals and semi-finals but we couldn’t pull it through.
“I always say that that’s not down to the coaching staff, though, it all comes down to the team because they’re the ones on the pitch. Ultimately Johann made a big impact at Munster and I think he made people better players from a personal perspective. So he will be missed.”
Now, as a new year lies ahead, Stander remains excited about this next chapter of his life. As he did during his rugby-playing days, he has thrown himself headfirst into harnessing a newfound passion for home construction and renovation. There are even plans to buy a piece of land and possibly build their own dream home, while in years to come, a return to farming is a consideration.
“I’m South African by birth, but once you’re a Munster man, you’re always Munster,” Stander says.
“I had a great opportunity to go over there as a young guy, and to get that experience, to learn to buy into a culture and to be part of something bigger, and that’s what I experienced at Munster and playing for Ireland. Those are two teams that will always be very special to me and my family. I can’t wait to one day go back to Thomond Park or the Aviva Stadium as a fan, and really enjoy the atmosphere that I was a part of for all those years. Ultimately, I’m just grateful I was able to retire on my terms, and to leave with a lot of joy in my heart.”
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