Out of all the things you could donate your hard-earned money to, giving to your child’s school might not be at the top of your list. If your children attend a private grade school with sky-high tuition, donating to the school might feel even more unnecessary.
With so much poverty, homelessness, broken homes, and people struggling through various difficulties, donating to these types of causes may be more worthwhile. Since my money is finite, I would rather donate to the Pomeroy Center, a non-profit that cares for individuals with various disabilities.
However, after donating some extra money to my children’s school to help renovate its new campus, I now see some of the benefits. I wish I could give more to both their school and the Pomeroy Center. But we donate what we can as two unemployed parents looking to regain financial independence.
The Benefits of Donating to Your Child’s School You Might Not Have Considered
We all know that donating money feels good because it helps others. If we have the means, we should give, as long as it doesn’t jeopardize our financial well-being. Donating our time feels even better, as we make a more direct impact in helping others.
But what about the unexpected benefits of donating your time or money to your kid’s school? Here are some you may not have thought of:
1) People Will Learn Your Name And That Feels Nice
One key to good communication is knowing someone’s name and using it. Everyone loves to be recognized and acknowledged. By donating to your school, you’ll be added to a list of donors, and everyone from administrators to the principal to other parents will suddenly know who you are.
Personally, I don’t like attention, which is why I was happy to stay behind the scenes for 13 years after launching this site—until Buy This, Not That was published. During COVID, I thought it was good to represent Asian people in America. However, at school, where I see the same people regularly during drop-off, pick-up, and events, it feels nice to be greeted by name.
It’s like the TV show Cheers, where you walk into the bar, and everybody is welcoming. Ultimately, everybody wants to feel loved and respected.
2) You’ll Be Invited to Special Events
If you donate above a certain threshold, which varies by school, you might get invited to special events. These gatherings allow you to meet other donors and form valuable connections. If you’re still working, these relationships can become business opportunities. If you’re lonely, they might even lead to new friendships.
Most people tend to downplay their contributions or accomplishments to others, especially in some Asian cultures. It’s like the person who went to Harvard but says they went to school in Boston when asked. However, if you’re at an event where everyone has contributed a minimum amount, you may feel less embarrassed and more comfortable being yourself.
3) Teachers May Be More Patient with Your Child (Or You)
Schools often like to recognize donors, with teachers noticing these acknowledgments in newsletters or donor lists. If your name appears on the list, especially in a higher giving tier, teachers might consciously or unconsciously be more patient with your child or you in difficult situations. Since a large portion of donations go toward supporting teachers, it’s only natural for schools to show appreciation to their most generous donors.
However, there’s a potential challenge when a donor’s child causes trouble. For example, imagine you’re a family on financial aid, and your child is constantly being called names and bullied at recess by a child whose parents donated a significant amount to the school. As a parent, you might feel hesitant to bring up your child’s mistreatment to their teacher or the other parent. A teacher might feel the same way as well.
In such a situation, you would hope that teachers and administrators handle the issue fairly, without putting your family at a disadvantage. You’d also expect that any parent would be horrified to learn their child is bullying others and would take immediate action. But, until you’re in that situation, you can never be entirely sure how it will be resolved.
4) You May Inspire Other Parents to Give More
After reviewing my school’s latest giving report, I was shocked and impressed by how much fellow parents donated. Some relatively new parents with kids in preschool are donating $10,000, $25,000, $50,000, $100,000, and even $500,000+. Seeing your peers give so much might encourage you to give more or at least consider how generous you’re being.
Personally, I’m inspired to work harder and invest better so I can give more away too. After 25 years of being frugal, I’ve found it difficult to spend on myself.
As a result, there’s a risk of being too stingy with giving as a FIRE enthusiast. As part of my quest to decumulate wealth, my goal is to donate more. It’s a tough balance given we still have mortgage debt, young kids, college tuition, and no jobs. But I’m going to try!
5) You Can Land a Board Seat and Gain More Status
School boards provide governance and strategic oversight to ensure the school’s long-term success. Although board positions are unpaid, they boost your status within the school community. Serving on the board is a sign that you have expertise, connections, and financial influence.
For stay-at-home parents, being a board member could be the ultimate occupation, especially once your kids are in school full-time. The issue is, you probably have to donate a significant amount to be considered. We’re talking $100,000 or more at some private schools.
If my wife had a high-powered, high-paying job and I had a regular job or no job, I can’t think of a better role than being a school board member. Being involved in your child’s school and its immediate community will make you feel special.
6) You might help your business or job prospects
If people start to know you are a generous donor, they might naturally gravitate more toward you. If you ever decide to look for a new job, they might feel better about hiring you. Alternatively, if you’re looking to raise capital for a business or have something to sell, you’ll likely gain more support from the school committee as a donor.
7) You Might Help Your Child Get into a Better School
If your child’s current school doesn’t go from kindergarten through 12th grade, they’ll eventually need to apply to a new grade school. If you’re a generous donor, admissions offices will likely take notice, especially if you’re also a board member. Schools value highly involved parents who contribute, as it attracts other like-minded families.
This isn’t like the college admissions scandal where parents were bribing their kids’ way into school. There is no quid pro quo for receiving donations if a child is admitted with a wink wink either. Instead, it’s an understanding that based on the parent’s track record of giving, there is a high likelihood that more giving will continue once their child is admitted. As a result, long-time donors may give their children an edge in admissions.
The Reality Of Admissions
During our grueling preschool admissions process, I quickly learned how money and power matter. We applied to several schools with a “lottery system” designed to promote diversity. Even with acceptance rates at 5%, we figured why not since the application fees were all the same and I thought it would be a nice experiment to share. Unsurprisingly, we were rejected from all of them.
Meanwhile, a high-profile, wealthy friend got into all four of the preschools they applied to. Statistically, this was nearly impossible. The probability of getting accepted into all four schools, with each having a 5% acceptance rate, is 0.000625%. However, I later learned that the admissions director would bump certain applicants up the list if they wanted their child to attend. So much for the “lottery” system!
We know that kids of legacy donors have a 70%+ acceptance rate at Harvard versus <6% for the overall admissions rate. We also know that many schools of similar stature conduct similar practices for the wealthy and powerful. This is the way the world works, and the rest of us have no choice but to compete with what we have.
8) You Might Make Your Kids Proud
Social status can be even more important for children than it is for adults given they don’t have jobs. If their parents are big donors, they might receive more respect or admiration from their peers, though they might also face envy.
I remember, as a middle schooler at the International School of Kuala Lumpur, the coolest kids were often the wealthiest. Their parents drove Mercedes, Audis, and some even had drivers. Kids would sometimes mention their entrepreneurial parents, their royal lineage, or their homes in Damansara Heights or Kenny Hills, two of the most expensive neighborhoods.
My parents, on the other hand, were U.S. Foreign Service Officers. At the time, I didn’t think much of their status as government officials. But in college, when I found out that the U.S. Foreign Service Officer Test has a low single-digit acceptance rate, I gained a newfound respect for their achievements!
You Might Also Become Proud Of Your Kids
By regularly donating to your child’s school, you may also cultivate a culture of giving in your children, teaching them the importance of supporting the community. They might end up pursuing admirable careers that focus on helping others. Best of all, they might develop empathy, thoughtfulness, and kindness.
When people reach out to me for advice on Financial Samurai, I can often tell who the thoughtful ones are based on how they introduce themselves. They’ll first introduce themselves, then mention they’ve supported my work or read something of mine. After that, they’ll politely ask a question about their situation. Then there are those who ask me for something or ask me to do something as if I’m their employee.
If you develop a culture of giving, I’m confident that better things will come your way.
9) You Can Extend Your Legacy
If you donate enough, you might get a courtyard, gym, hallway, or classroom named after you or someone you care about. As long as the school stands, your name will be associated with it. As you get older, you’ll likely think more about your legacy, and donating to your children’s school is one way to ensure it endures for years to come.
To have something named after you in college will require millions, or even tens of millions, these days. It’s the legal way the ultra-wealthy get their kids in elite private universities. But for a grade school, you could have a classroom named after you for “as little as” $50,000. The longer the school continues to operate after your donation, the greater your return on investment in terms of lasting recognition.
10) Don’t Have to Donate All at Once
Finally, I learned that you can spread your donation commitment over several years. For instance, if you pledge to donate $100,000, you can break it up over five years or longer, making it more manageable for your budget. It’s like a layaway plan or a “buy now, pay later” option for the school.
While the school takes on some risk that a parent might not fulfill their entire commitment, they likely end up receiving more donations overall by offering this option than they would otherwise. Over time, this creates a reliable stream of donations each year, which can be factored into their pro forma budgets.
In addition, you don’t have to donate cash either. You can donate your stocks through a Donor Advised Fund, a tax-efficient way that may make giving easier. You might find donating stocks easier than donating cash because, after a while, stocks can feel like “funny money.” When you earn profits without having to do any work, it’s easier to let go of it.
Donating Money To Your School Is Probably A Good Idea
Obviously not every parent can donate thousands of dollars each year to their child’s school, and that’s okay. Parents should give at a level they feel comfortable with. Donating is a personal decision, and there’s no right or wrong approach.
What most schools emphasize is the importance of the participation rate, not the amount. Even if a parent can only donate $100, that contribution is highly valued by the school. Unlike the broader society where 40-50% of working Americans don’t pay income taxes, schools aim for a much higher participation rate from parents. More involved parents typically result in better schools and better outcomes for students.
Let’s also acknowledge the reality that wealth brings influence and power. That’s the way the world works, and it’s unlikely to change. If someone donates $100,000+ to a school, it’s reasonable to expect they’ll receive some special treatment compared to parents who do not. After all, they certainly didn’t have to donate such a large sum.
If you want to support the school but feel stretched financially, consider attending a fundraiser dinner or event. You can make a date out of it with your significant other and view it as part of the entertainment cost. That way, you’ll feel better about giving while enjoying yourself. The school will also appreciate your in-person involvement.
Parent Volunteers Are Always Needed
Finally, if you really can’t afford to donate money to your school, consider participating in the many volunteer activities available. Schools always need extra helping hands, especially when it comes to managing younger children. There are field trips, holiday events, book readings, cleanup events, and more for parents to volunteer.
Recently, I volunteered with several moms during picture day for 2nd graders and preschoolers. We helped the kids by patting down their flyaways with wet wipes, holding up mirrors, and keeping the line moving. The kids were so silly! It was fun chatting with the moms who had older kids in high school and hearing how their experiences changed over time.
Volunteering offers a great way to stay involved and build connections with other parents and school staff. You might even get to pop in and check up on your kiddo once you’re done. That’s always fun!
Anonymous Donations
If you prefer not to receive much recognition for your donations, you can always donate anonymously or have your name listed as “Anonymous.” Of course, your school will still know that you donated.
The fun part about being an Anonymous donor is that you feel a kindred spirit with other anonymous donors. You can easily flow from being an anonymous donor in the $2,000 bracket to the ones in the $500,000+ bracket!
No matter how much you give, donating is an act of kindness. You could have easily spent that money on a new pair of shoes—or, in some cases, even a new car. But you chose to donate to your school, which is a wonderful gesture.
Readers, do you donate to your kid’s school? Are you still donating to your grade school or college as an alumni? How do you determine how much to give? Do you see any other benefits of donating to your kid’s school?
Enjoy my favorite clip about donating anonymously and the concept of “faux anonymity.” It provides insight into the psychological and social implications of how individuals choose to present their charitable actions.
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