Telephonophobia: Why so many young people don’t answer the phone

A digital wellbeing academic fears the art of verbal conversation might be disappearing amongst people who refuse to answer the phone.

‘Telephonophobia’ is common amongst Millennials and Gen Z, Auckland University of Technology’s Dr Lena Waizenegger says.

She defines it as the “fear of making or taking phone calls”.

“In general we can’t really generalise it to all and every person. But what we can say is that many Millennials and Gen Zs prefer texting over calling,” Waizenegger told Checkpoint.

“This is mainly rooted in sort of a rise in alternative forms of communication. So, nowadays there are lots of instant messaging, we are constantly on social media, we are texting – because these levels, these platforms, really offer this level of convenience. “

Last year, communications expert Mary Jane Copps (aka The Phone Lady) told RNZ’s Sunday Morning it can be “intimidating” talking on the phone because of its speed.

“With email or texting, we’re completely in charge of how the conversation goes because we can edit, we can proofread, and so on… [In a phone conversation] we might get asked a question and we’re not sure what the answer is, it’s very improvisational. And if you’ve never done that before, it’s quite intimidating.”

Getting a call, particularly from an unknown number, can be seen as indicating an emergency, Waizenegger explained.

“I think there’s a lot of uncertainty – ‘Who’s this calling?’ Because a lot of people kind of now relate calls to kind of like, ‘Oh, is this an emergency? Did something happen?’ Right? So just by hearing the sound, they already like, ‘Oh my god, did something happen?

“Because nowadays, because we mainly communicate through text or instant messaging, if someone actually calls, this is mainly a sign of urgency or an emergency.”

Emojis can only go so far in replacing non-verbal cues, Waizenegger said.

“You can also hide behind emojis, right? So for example, you get a text from a friend and you know it hurts you quite a bit. But you still don’t want to show your real emotions and still put like, a smiley face on that, right? Because you just wanna don’t be vulnerable.

“So a lot of people kind of hide behind the emotions to [not] show their own vulnerability or to not hurt someone else.

“And what we lose in text communication is really kind of the interpretation of the inflections in someone’s voice. If it kind of conveys sarcasm or excitement, or if I just pause or sigh, right? And you can just convey so much more true emotion through extra verbal communication that might go missing otherwise.”

If you do have to call someone and fear it might freak them out, she suggested texting in advance so they know.

“What the new etiquette is, is just to text before you call just so that a person is mindful of that someone might be busy at the moment or in a meeting, or busy with the kids, so that they just know, ‘Hey, you know, I’m trying to call you. It’s urgent. Can you please pick up?’ Or, ‘Hey, is there any time that’s convenient for us to talk on the phone?'”