Because the people yearn for Dane Rumble.
The year is 2009. I turn on C4. Stan Walker has just won Australian Idol and ‘Black Box’ is number one in the charts. Taylor Swift and Kanye are scrapping at the VMAs. John Key has settled into his first term in parliament, and is yet to yank any ponytails. And most importantly, the charts are full of Kiwi artists. Some have stood the test of time (Savage’s ‘Swing’ made it onto my Spotify Wrapped again last year), but what happened to our pop stars who disappeared into a wormhole and were never seen again?
Kids of 88
Kids of 88 (Sam McCarthy and Jordan Arts) blew up in 2009 when their track ‘My House’ spent 17 weeks on the NZ singles chart. This truly marked a cultural reset: slouchy beanies, really intense fringes, near-naked women dancing and getting covered in paint. “this is why im gay” wrote one user under the YouTube video. “This gave me the biggest stiffy when i was younger,” reminisced another. ‘Just a Little Bit’ followed, with an equally sexy music video, and the track became a staple across radio stations nationwide. Across two years, the band enjoyed a handful of NZ Music Awards, two charting albums and a stint as an opening act for Kesha, before disbanding in 2014.
Since then, the lads have both embarked on solo careers – Arts is still based in Auckland and has released projects as High Hoops (stylised as HIGH HØØPS) and as part of the group Leisure. He’s also been busy working on music videos for the likes of Harper Finn and Broods. McCarthy made the move to LA and released music in 2018 as BoyBoy, but appears to have recently moved back to Auckland.
Annah Mac
Annah Mac was our nation’s answer to the indie-twee era of the early 2010s – I have never had such intense fringe envy in my life. Besides being the blueprint for Zooey Dechanel’s bangs, Mac established herself as an extremely talented songwriter. I was obsessed, and her 2011 album Little Stranger was on repeat on my iPod Nano for months.
Her 2011 debut single ‘Girl in Stilettos’ reached certified double platinum and was nominated for a Silver Scroll. By 2012, ‘Celia’ had received an International Songwriting Award, gracing school ukulele curriculums nationwide (special mention to Avalanche City for that too). But where was the equal energy for ‘Bucket’, Mac’s final release in 2012? It was an upbeat track with lyrics that everyone could relate to: “I’m sitting on Trade Me all alone.” So real of you, Annah.
In the years that followed Mac swapped the spotlight for teaching. In 2016, she began working with prisoners, teaching ukulele and songwriting to inmates in the Otago Corrections Facility. Thirty-seven of the original songs were released as The Kowhai Project in 2021, with proceeds of the album going to the Dunedin night shelter.
She also joined forces with her two sisters to form the band Cadon, releasing their debut EP Love On Ice in 2024 – a chill-pop sound reminiscent of her early hits.
Benny Tipene
While I was recently strolling a Bunnings, a familiar voice hummed through the speakers. Was it…? Could it be… X Factor New Zealand season one runner-up Benny Tipene?? You may remember Tipene for his luscious locks and hit single ‘Make You Mine’, an earworm that has been used in numerous TV ads. The track even debuted in the Aussie charts following the Australian release of his 2014 EP Toulouse. But alas – Tipene’s Wikipedia page hasn’t been updated since 2017. Instagram? Non-existent. It appears I am not the only one despairing over his disappearance. “WHERE IS BENNY TIPENE?” demands baileememes on r/newzealand. “I have stalked his Facebook and Twitter, but to no avail. Where has my king gone?,” the author pleads. I share in her grief.
According to reddit, Tipene keeps a relatively low profile in Palmerston North, where he works as a teacher at a kura kaupapa and plays regular gigs with his band The Nerines, who are recording a new EP.
J Williams
I had forgotten about J Williams until a couple of weeks ago when I was confronted by the memory of a certain music video – but what was the name of the track? I Googled “NZ singer pool table music video”. No luck. After about 20 minutes of gradually adding more words to my search (“dance”, “2000s” and “fedora”), I finally rediscovered the 2010 hit ‘You Got Me’. J Williams was the whole package: charismatic, the cleanest fade I’ve ever seen, insane dance moves. Williams launched his music career in 2008 with his single ‘Blow Your Mind’, and went on to drop hit after hit. ‘You Got Me’ became the best-selling single in New Zealand in 2010, and Williams even enjoyed an opening slot for Pitbull.
But in 2011, his former partner Larissa Brown shared that she had been a victim of domestic abuse at the hand of Williams throughout their relationship, and he subsequently disappeared from the public eye.
Fifteen years later, his social media shares that Williams has stayed booked and busy across the ditch, where he lives with his wife and son, and has since been open about undergoing counselling. Still occasionally performing his hits, the singer has also performed on stage in Magic Mike Live The Tour in Miami and The Lion King, and has just been seen in The Bruno Mars Experience in Melbourne.
Dane Rumble
The man who sent me down this wormhole in the first place, Dane Rumble got his start in hip-hop group FastCrew before beginning a solo career in 2009. He dropped two singles with moderate success, but it wasn’t until his third single release that he really broke through.
Equipped with aviators, a green screen and a dream, Rumble dropped the biggest hit of his career – ‘Cruel’, complete with a thought-provoking music video. What’s up with the very early CGI robot dude? Which brand of hair gel has he used that has allowed him to achieve such an indestructible quiff? The track shot him to number three in the New Zealand charts, and his debut album, The Experiment, charted at number one the following year. After a jaunt across the UK and the US to work on his unreleased second album, he dropped what would be his last single, ‘Not Alone’, before leaving music altogether.
Rumble is now based in Sydney and runs an engagement ring and luxury watch company. He told Stuff back in 2018 that the transition away from music allowed him to keep a low profile and spend more time with his wife and kids, citing anxiety about being recognised in public from his music. His Instagram paints the picture of a happy family guy who has gladly left his pop stardom behind. Good for you, Dane.
But please release the second album so I can sleep at night.
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