‘Ideally no kids but starting to wonder if this is unreasonable as I get older!’
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Age: 29
Gender: Female
Sexuality: Bisexual
Ethnicity: Pākehā
Religion: Atheist
Occupation: Healthcare
My living location is: Nelson
The apps I’m on: Hinge
I’m looking for: Somebody lovely to become part of my life-team who wants and is ready to be a long term monogamous partner to somebody. Have only dated men in past but open to dating women as well. Ideally somebody who is active and enjoys being outdoors, and has their own life which is full of friends and hobbies. Ideally no kids but starting to wonder if this is unreasonable as I get older!
Mostly I’m finding: Lots of people who are looking for a partner as a way to tick a box on the expected list of things to achieve in their life, but they don’t know what they really want from life or from a partner, and become quite codependent quite quickly.
My last serious relationship was: The last serious one was a one-year long relationship that ended 1.5 years ago as the person moved overseas for better job opportunities.
The worst date I ever had: Trying to talk to somebody who would only answer every question as yes/no as they didn’t know how to elaborate on their own life, which made it kind of feel like pulling teeth trying to talk to them! They also struggled to ask me any questions which made it feel quite one sided just trying to keep any conversation going!
The best date I ever had: I met somebody at the beach in summer and went for a beach walk and swim and then dried off in the sun while talking the whole time and it was honestly the best date!
The most regrettable thing I ever did on a date: Don’t know if this counts as a date but at a festival once I ran away from a dude to avoid having to “go back to his tent”.
The best thing a date ever did for me: Honestly, in this economy footing the bill always feels quite revolutionary and awesome!
The biggest red flag I’ve seen on a date: There’s many – but asking to hook up immediately always grosses me out, or not letting me talk as why’d you even come out with me if you don’t want to get to know me.
On a date I usually wear: In winter, jeans and a nice top. In summer, a dress!
I have sex when: Generally I want to get to know somebody a little first – at least a few dates in but sometimes much longer! Have had one night stands in the past but kind of hated the feeling of doing that with someone I just didn’t really know (and as a wahine always worry about my safety!)
I wish dating was: More in real life still. I feel like people don’t feel safe to ask people out in public anymore so we’ve all resorted to using apps (which suck!) Apps make it much harder to judge if you’re gonna like the person, if they’re a person who it’s safe to meet etc, when you’ve only seen their picture and a short description! Even if I was taken I’d be flattered to be asked out irl!
This is what I think about who pays on dates: I think you should pay for your own bits – split the bill! (But like I said above, in this economy somebody shouting your meal or activity does feel quite lovely!)
Three words that describe my dream date: Kind, curious, fun.
My dating advice is: Always do things you enjoy as dates so at least if the date sucks you’ve still had fun!
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