Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins star Ashley Cain has revealed the heartbreaking moment baby Azaylia died in his arms.
The reality star lost his daughter Azaylia when she was just eight month old from leukaemia.
He has been back on screens recently on Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins and he has opened up about his devastating loss.
Ashley Cain on Azaylia’s ‘peaceful’ death
“I’ve always been like Marmite,” he says in tonight’s episode (October 2).
“You either love me or you hate me. I prefer to let people know who I am and let them judge me and still be who I want to be.
She passed away in my arms and it’s a moment I’ll never forget.
“I’m here to find out about myself. I’m here to get [expletive] done. I’m here for a lot of reasons. I’m in a bit of a transitional period in my life.
“I’m a family man. Always been a family man, that’s what I’m about,” he added.
“I had a chance to start my own family and I had a beautiful little baby girl. Two months into my daughter being born we found out she had a really aggressive form of leukaemia.”
Celebrity SAS star Ashley Cain opens up about devastating loss
“She was incredible,” he said.
He added: “She showed strength, she showed courage. She showed everything it takes for a person to get on in this world. And then she sadly lost her life on 24 April. She passed away in my arms and it’s a moment I’ll never forget.”
Ashley also revealed how he takes strength from what happened.
“One thing I will remember is every single day my daughter was fighting this disease, she smiled every day.
“She fought every day and she made the most of every single day. And that’s a lesson I’ll take through my life.
“She didn’t have the chance in life that I’ve got, that we’ve all got and I definitely don’t want waste mine. I want make to her proud.
“I want to show people that no matter what you go through in life, you can overcome anything.”
And Ashley told how the loss of Azaylia changed everything for him.
“The day that my little girl was born was a moment that I’d been waiting for all my life,” he said.
The father finds strength in his late daughter
“I couldn’t have been a happier, prouder father and then all of a sudden things changed. When they told us that there was nothing more that they could do, it completely broke me.
“All I wanted to know at that point was that if she goes she will go in my arms and she will go peacefully. And at eight months old she passed away in mine and my partner’s arms.
“I believe she had a peaceful transition to the other side.”
Read more: Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins viewers blast Channel 4 for ‘ruining’ show
And fighting through the show’s trials, Ashley has found a way to cope.
“When I’m backed in a corner, I take myself to the darkest times of my life where I was battling alongside my daughter,” he said.
“After going through such trauma I’ve realised that even when your body wants to give up, your mind can push it past any limits that you thought you had before.”
Celebrity SAS: Who Dares Wins is on tonight (October 2) on Channel 4 at 9pm.
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