Daniel Dae Kim is still waiting for his rom-com moment

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SEOUL, South Korea — After three decades in Hollywood, Daniel Dae Kim has done spy thrillers, sci-fi epics and medical dramas. But there’s one role that’s eluded the Korean American actor: romantic leading man. “I’m still waiting to play a romantic lead after all these years,” Kim says with a laugh.

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His latest project, “Butterfly,” which features a star-studded cast including top Korean actors Kim Tae-hee and Park Hae-soo (“Squid Game”), follows a former U.S. intelligence operative in South Korea whose past catches up with him. It premiered on Amazon Prime in the U.S. and elsewhere earlier this month, but makes its Korean debut Friday.

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In a recent interview with The Associated Press in Seoul, South Korea, Kim revealed one of his biggest regrets, reflected on cultural lessons from the Korea-U.S. co-production, and opened up about what it’s really like being the bridge between two cultures while pursuing his mission to tell stories “that haven’t been told yet.” The interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.

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AP: You served as both star and executive producer on “Butterfly.” How do those roles differ for you?

KIM: As an EP, I’m a job creator. I am a person responsible for a lot of people, and I will fight so much harder for others than I often fight for myself. When I feel like one of the cast, or one of the crew, or one of the writers is not being taken care of, I’m not afraid to talk to anybody and have a hard conversation.

AP: How did cultural differences between Korean and American crews translate into the production?

KIM: Every day, there was something that needed to be translated literally through language but also working styles. In Korea, because it’s a more Confucian society, the hierarchy of departments is very clear. We had to learn to talk to the head of the department who would then talk to the staff, as opposed to if you have an issue with one of the staff, you go directly to the staff. This kind of thing was new to the Americans.

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AP: You’ve talked about choices and regrets in your work. Have you experienced that personally?

KIM: I think in 2007 I got a DUI when I was working on “Lost,” and I regret that night every day of my life. At the time, I felt so much shame, so much guilt, so much regret. I felt terrible to my parents, because that’s not the way I think they wanted me to be raised. I think with the right perspective, these things, these mistakes that you made can actually be helpful for your life because they can guide you in certain ways.

AP: Are you worried about backlashes against diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives potentially taking place in Hollywood?

KIM: We’re already seeing it. If you look at what happened with Paramount and CBS News, we’re seeing a chilling effect on free speech and journalism and DEI. “DEI” is a bad word these days, but to me, DEI’s not a fad. The idea of inclusion is not something that’s a political trend. It’s my life. It’s what I’ve lived every decade I’ve been in this business.

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AP: Do you ever get tired of being that bridge between cultures?

KIM: I’m human, so everyone feels on certain days like, “Oh, this is too tough,” or on another day, “I can’t wait to do this.” But one of the reasons I think I act and produce is because I feel like there are a lot of stories to be told that haven’t been told yet, and one of those stories is a Korean American story.

AP: The criticism you faced on “Lost” for your Korean pronunciation seems particularly harsh, looking back. How has Korea’s acceptance of Korean Americans evolved?

KIM: I got so much criticism when I did “Lost” that I had to learn how to not take it so personally because it hurt a lot at the time. When I came to Korea when I was 18, cab drivers would give me such a hard time because I couldn’t speak fluent Korean. And they were like, “You’re Korean, your face is Korean, why don’t you speak Korean?” They had never thought about an immigrant experience from another country. But now Korea is so used to that kind of thing that people are much more understanding.

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AP: How intentional have you been in choosing roles to expand beyond audience expectations?

KIM: I have a lot of sympathy for actors who take stereotypical roles when they’re starting out because you need some way to break into the business. It’s much easier once you’re more successful and more established because you have more financial stability. It’s something that, if you’re not a person of color, or someone who’s a minority in the United States, you don’t have to think about. You don’t think about what this role means for the rest of a nation or an ethnicity. You just do what you’re drawn to, and that’s very liberating. I am lucky enough now where I can also make those same choices. But I don’t ever escape the fact that whatever I do will be watched and seen by so many people and judged through their own lens and filters.

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AP: After all these years, what role do you still hope to play?

KIM: I’m still waiting to play a romantic lead after all these years. I’ve never gotten the opportunity and it’s one of those interesting things because I look the way I do as an Asian American and Asian men were never considered handsome or sexy. That’s changing now though. I’m friends with Jimmy O. Yang and, a few years ago, he got to play a romantic lead in a rom-com. And I said to Jimmy like, “Who would have thought you, Jimmy, would have been the one to be the romantic lead?” But I was so happy for him because it meant that the way we were looking at Asian men was different.

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