A friend texted me the other day with a question that might sound familiar:
“Bob, beyond tithing, how do you decide where to give? I’ve got a friend fundraising for a mission trip, an invitation to a charity breakfast for prison ministry, and I just met someone raising money for a youth organization. They’re all legitimate causes. I know I should ask God, but do you have any other frameworks?”
This is a challenge many of us face. As our capacity to give increases, so do the opportunities. And let’s be honest – saying no to worthy causes can feel uncomfortable, even when we know we can’t support everything.
Sidenote: In part 3 of my book Simple Money, Rich Life, I dive deep into this topic with practical giving strategies that have helped thousands break free from guilt-based giving and experience true freedom in generosity, but for now let’s tackle what we can in this article.
Start with the heart
Years ago, I came across a giving framework that transformed how Linda and I approach giving decisions:
Give from a grateful heart and a broken heart.
It’s elegantly simple, yet profoundly biblical.
Let’s break down each part:
1. Gratitude-Guided Giving
In the Old Testament, the Israelites brought their first fruits as an offering of thanksgiving. This wasn’t just a religious ritual – it was an acknowledgment that everything they had came from God.
“Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.” (Proverbs 3:9-10)
This principle of gratitude-driven giving still applies today.
What organizations, ministries, or people are you genuinely thankful exist? Which ones have blessed you personally?
For many of us, our local church tops this list. The church that ministers to your family week after week deserves your faithful support.
As Paul wrote to Timothy: “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching” (1 Timothy 5:17).
But your list might also include a crisis pregnancy center that helped a family member, a recovery ministry that supported a friend, or a Christian camp that impacted your children.
2. Compassion-Guided Giving
The second heart of giving comes from what breaks you.
Jesus was repeatedly “moved with compassion” before He acted to meet needs (Matthew 9:36, 14:14, 15:32).
What injustices make your blood boil? What vulnerable populations keep you up at night? What global issues do you wish you could solve single-handedly?
For some, it’s human trafficking. For others, it’s evangelism in unreached areas. Or perhaps it’s foster care, homelessness, or Bible translation.
The point is not what breaks your heart, but that you’re allowing your heart to be broken by the things that break God’s heart.
The Principle of Multiplication
Beyond that framework, I look for another biblical principle: multiplication.
Jesus frequently talked about seed, soil, and fruit.
In the Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13:1-23), He emphasized that the same seed produced dramatically different results depending on where it was planted.
The wise steward looks for good soil – organizations that demonstrate a multiplication effect:
“Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown.” (Matthew 13:8)
And Not All “Good Causes” Are Good Investments
Just as there are efficient and inefficient businesses, there are efficient and inefficient charitable organizations.
Some exist primarily to perpetuate themselves, while others create exponential impact with minimal overhead.
I’ve learned to ask questions like:
- Is this organization producing visible fruit?
- Do they have a clear strategy for multiplication?
- Are they being good stewards of their current resources?
The Apostle Paul praised the Philippian church for their partnership in the gospel (Philippians 1:3-5) – they weren’t just giving money; they were investing in kingdom advancement.
The Eternal Perspective
While I give to organizations addressing various needs, I place special priority on those with eternal impact.
Jesus met physical needs throughout His ministry, but He constantly emphasized that spiritual needs were primary:
“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, but loses his soul?” (Mark 8:36)
If I’m choosing between two excellent organizations – one addressing temporary physical needs and another addressing eternal spiritual needs – I tend to prioritize eternal impact.
This doesn’t mean physical ministries aren’t valuable.
In fact, they often create bridges for the gospel.
When Jesus fed the 5,000, He met immediate physical needs while creating an opportunity to share spiritual truth.
You’re Not Designed to Fund Everything
Perhaps the most liberating realization I personally had when trying to learn how to decide where to give is that we aren’t supposed to support every worthy cause.
In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul describes the body of Christ as having many parts, each with different functions.
I believe this applies to giving as well. Some are called to support education, others to fund evangelism, still others to fight poverty or sponsor children.
God Has Specific Assignments for Your Resources
When we try to support everything that comes our way, we often end up with scattered impact.
But when we focus our giving where God specifically directs us, we participate in His strategic work.
The early church demonstrated this principle well. When faced with a famine affecting Jerusalem believers, Paul didn’t ask every church to contribute equally.
Instead, he collected from churches in Macedonia and Achaia who had the capacity to give (Romans 15:25-27).
Saying “No” Creates Space for God’s Best Yes
As your financial resources increase, the requests will certainly increase too.
Learning to say “no” – even to worthy causes – isn’t just okay; it’s essential for kingdom-focused giving.
Every “yes” costs you something, and not just in dollars. It costs attention, emotional energy, and space in your giving strategy.
Jesus modeled this principle perfectly.
Despite overwhelming needs all around Him, He routinely withdrew to pray (Luke 5:16). There’s even a remarkable moment when His disciples frantically search for Him, saying “Everyone is looking for you!” – essentially telling Him about all the ministry opportunities He was missing.
His response? “Let us go somewhere else” (Mark 1:37-38).
The Son of God Himself said “no” to legitimate needs to maintain His divine focus.
When you feel the pressure to fund everything, remember this truth: Scattered giving often means scattered impact.
Strategic “no’s” create space for powerful, focused “yes’s” that align with God’s specific assignment for your resources.
The question isn’t whether you’ll say no – it’s whether you’ll say no intentionally or by default when your resources are depleted.
Above All Else: Follow the Holy Spirit
Frameworks and strategies help us navigate giving decisions, but they’re no substitute for the Spirit’s whisper.
God’s voice must always have the final say.
I’ve learned this lesson repeatedly over the years. Sometimes the Holy Spirit will prompt you to support something that doesn’t fit your usual giving criteria or patterns. When this happens, obedience trumps strategy every time.
Scripture makes this priority clear:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Linda and I have experienced this countless times in our giving journey – feeling an unmistakable nudge to support something completely outside our normal giving framework. Often, we’d discover months later how perfectly timed our gift was in God’s larger plan – meeting a need we couldn’t have known about or creating an opportunity we couldn’t have foreseen.
These moments have taught us a profound truth: God’s wisdom operates at a level far beyond our strategic thinking. Our carefully constructed giving plans are like tic-tac-toe compared to His multi-dimensional chess game of kingdom advancement.
This doesn’t mean we abandon thoughtful stewardship. Rather, we hold our plans with open hands, ready to adjust at a moment’s notice when the Spirit leads differently.
Your 5-step Framework for Kingdom Impact
When the next giving opportunity arrives in your inbox or from across the coffee table, I’d like to suggest a simple framework to guide your response:
- Pray specifically about each opportunity
- Examine your heart – Is this giving motivated by gratitude or compassion?
- Evaluate the soil – Is this organization multiplying resources effectively?
- Consider eternal impact – How does this work advance God’s kingdom?
- Seek confirmation – Do you have peace about this decision?
This framework isn’t about restricting your giving – it’s about focusing it for maximum impact.
Giving was never meant to be a burden, but a privilege.
God doesn’t need our money – He invites our participation in His redemptive work. When we give strategically and joyfully, we step into the divine flow of God’s generosity.
We’re not just disbursing dollars – we’re investing in eternity.
And when we approach giving with this mindset, the question shifts from “How much should I give?” to “How much am I willing to keep?”
So the next time you’re faced with multiple worthy causes, don’t feel overwhelmed. Instead, walk through this framework with confidence, knowing that your strategic “yes” or grace-filled “no” is part of God’s larger design for kingdom advancement.
Because when we give according to God’s direction – whether it’s following a framework or responding to a Spirit-led prompting – every dollar becomes a seed planted in His eternal purposes.
And there’s no better investment on earth than that.
Your friend and coach,
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