‘Become Comfortable’ To ‘Explore Emotions’ – Putting The ‘Men’ In Mental Health

Eleisha
Foon, RNZ Pacific Senior Journalist

Men
are being encouraged to normalise talking about their
emotions with a special month dedicated to their
wellbeing.

In New Zealand, this week puts the ‘men’ in
mental health with seven days dedicated to shifting culture
and mindsets on the issue that plagues the male population,
where one in eight men will experience serious depression
during their lifetime.

Auckland based Dietrich Soakai
grew up in spaces where men rarely talked about their
emotions.

But during his time working in youth and
community development he discovered how crucial it was for
people to acknowledge and prioritise their mental health –
especially in men.

“Our mental health and emotional
health are two in the same,” Soakai said.

“I think the
more men become comfortable talking about how they are feel,
acknowledging and recognising what they are feeling, then
that puts us at a better place to actually have more
meaningful and robust discussions.”

Soakai found an
outlet almost a decade ago when he got into spoken
word poetry.

The artform kicked off his own mental
health journey.

“For me that was the doorway into
beginning to explore my emotions and how I feel about
things.”

Across
New Zealand, events
have been set up in the hope other men will also embark
on their own journey of healing and learning to express
their emotions.

Pasifika Medical Association (PMA)
alongside Etu Pasifika are leading some of these events in
Auckland and Christchurch.

Male staff from PMA
organised activities to provide opportunities for talanoa
and connection, and will also be sharing stories and
clinical wellbeing advice on their digital
platforms.

They planned a quiz night, morning walks,
men’s mental health breakfast and talanoa, and a weekend
golf outing to promote physical wellness. Etu Pasifika South
Auckland clinic is giving out mini gift bags to every male
visitor to their men’s clinic.

The clinic staff are
also participating in a 12-week fitness challenge and have
reached the halfway point.

“We thought this was a
fantastic opportunity for Pacific men to come together. They
are running these events themselves the way they want,” PMA
chief executive Debbie Sorensen said.

She said it was
important for men to have “safe spaces to open
up”.

Culture a barrier for seeking help

In New
Zealand, men are also three times more likely to commit
suicide than women. They are also less likely to ask for
help when they really need it.

Tongan GP based in
Manukau, Dr Francis Katoa knows this first hand. “Pacific
mental health for men – they do experience worse health
outcomes and our clinic is trying to address this by
providing a culturally specific service,” he
said.

He
hoped this week would be a catalyst for men to take
action.

“Pacific men are the strong hardworking type.
In the Pacific culture there are cultural and religious
explanations for mental health and I think it is a barrier
for men seeking help.”

He said there’s no shame in
asking for help and that it was important to continue the
efforts to “normalise” expressing and talking about feelings
and asking for help through counselling – something Soakai
said has transformed his life.

“Fortunately you have
got other avenues like InnerBoy
a great free app people can access. It talks through the
journey of ones inner world and how to talk and process that
stuff.”

Soakai
said it has been a game-changer for his relationships and
friendships.

“There is nothing better than to test the
strength of a relationship than to allow them into your
inner world. How incredible would it be if you didn’t need
to wait until you were under the influence of anything to
allow that person into your inner world or to be intoxicated
or what have you to begin to feel courageous enough to tell
the people you care about how you are feeling about
something.”

Where to get help

• Need to
  Talk? Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained
  counsellor, for any reason.
• Lifeline: 0800 543 354
  or text HELP to 4357
• InnerBoy Free counselling here
• Suicide
  Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is
  a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or
  those who are concerned about family or
  friends.
• Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7) or
  text 4202
• Samaritans: 0800 726 666
  (24/7)
• Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text
  234 (8am-12am), or email talk@youthline.co.nz
• What’s
  Up: online chat (3pm-10pm) or 0800 WHATSUP / 0800 9428 787
  helpline (12pm-10pm weekdays, 3pm-11pm
  weekends)
• Kidsline (ages 5-18): 0800 543 754
  (24/7)
• Rural Support Trust Helpline: 0800 787
  254
• Healthline: 0800 611 116
• Rainbow Youth:
  (09) 376 4155

If it is an emergency
and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call
111.

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