Members of a popular internet forum rallied behind one mother who refused to give up her late daughter’s unworn wedding dress, despite multiple efforts to change her mind.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/amithea**hole46 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) detailed numerous attempts to persuade her to hand over the gown and explained why she and her husband are unwilling to do so.
Titled, “[Am I the a**hole] for not letting my eldest daughter have my younger’s wedding dress?” the post has received nearly 10,000 upvotes and 2,200 comments in the last day.
“My husband and I have two daughters, Opal and Amelia,” OP began. “Opal and her fiancé Jack passed away four years ago. Her wedding dress had been bought and my baby never got to wear it.”
Continuing to explain that she’s been holding onto the dress ever since, the original poster said it reminds her of her daughter and her fiancé, who she viewed as her own son.
The original poster also said that her eldest daughter is getting married soon and has repeatedly requested to wear her sister’s wedding dress, much to her parents’ dismay.
“Amelia is getting married to Liam [and] she asked me if she could have Opal’s dress,” OP wrote. “She said she loves the style/design and wants to tweak it a bit to better match her tastes.
“I’ve insisted no multiple times and [said] that Amelia can get her own dress,” OP continued. “Amelia said life is for the living and I’m making things harder for her, she offered to pay and buy it from me but I still refused.
“It seemed like [she] understood, but this past weekend…[her fiancé’s] mom pulled me aside and said Amelia is upset about this whole thing and the wedding planning is already difficult so I could compromise and make it a bit easier by giving her the dress,” OP added.
Finding the perfect wedding dress, for better or worse, is a huge deal.
But while countless quick-cut movie sequences and an entire television series paint a picture of hours spent in fitting rooms, trying on gown after gown after gown, some brides opt for a more tried-and-true option.
Wearing a wedding dress previously worn by another family member adds an entirely new, sentimental dimension to a bride’s big day. By wearing their mother’s, grandmother’s or another relative’s dress, brides are able to carry a piece of their loved ones with them as they walk down the aisle, while adding yet another chapter to the garment’s guest book.
And considering The Knot’s report that the average cost of a wedding dress in 2021 was roughly $1,800, brides wearing secondhand dresses are also able to save money where so many others break the bank achieving the perfect look.
However, the conversation surrounding sentimental wedding dresses quickly becomes convoluted when previous owners are deceased.
Marina Yudina/iStock / Getty Images Plus
Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors applauded the original poster for keeping her youngest daughter’s wedding dress after her passing and slammed her eldest daughter for applying so much pressure in spite of her repeated denials.
“Wow,” Redditor u/finsternis86 wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received more than 17,000 upvotes. “[Not the a**hole].
“That dress means a lot to you and it’s your decision if you want to let Amelia use it or not,” they continued. “It’s also not [mother-in-law’s] place to involve herself in something between you and your daughter.”
Redditor u/TheShineyGlitter, whose comment has received more than 2,000 upvotes, offered a similar response and speculation as to why the original poster’s daughter is so keen on wearing her sister’s dress.
“It would be one thing if she were talking about how it makes her feel connected to her sister, a way to make her sister’s presence felt at the wedding,” they wrote. “That’s not what she said.
“She…wants to change the dress,” they added. “It sounds to me like she thinks it’s a convenient way to save $$.”
In a separate comment, which has received more than 6,000 upvotes, Redditor u/vrindumb highlighted a specific detail included within the viral post.
“If she’s willing to buy Opal’s dress from you, why can’t she go buy a brand new dress?” they questioned.
Newsweek reached out to u/amithea**hole46 for comment.
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