By Gillian Aeria, ABC
Photo:
The festive season often heralds celebration and cheer, but one sobriety coach is choosing to work and volunteer to distract herself during this busy time.
Now sober for five years, Noelene Brown said keeping busy helped take her mind off cravings and she avoided “tricky” social functions that could make her feel uncomfortable.
The Christmas period is a time of “heightened emotions”, which she said could result in plenty of people over-drinking.
“If you’re happy, you’re really happy; if you’re sad, you’re sadder at Christmas; if you’re broke, Christmas is a really expensive time,” she said.
For rural communities facing the stress of harvest in the south and cyclone season in the north, the summer holiday period was a particularly challenging time, Brown said.
Added to that was the strong social expectation to attend celebrations to ring out the end of the year.
“At other times of the year, it’s easier to avoid social functions if you’re trying to cut back [on drinking], but at Christmas time there is that expectation to show up at events whether it be work-related, family, friends, or community get-togethers,” Brown said.
A rural currency
Fire risk and the harvest season can make a busy summer social scene even more stressful for farmers.
Photo: ABC Wimmera / Gillian Aeria
Australians living in rural or remote Australia are 40 percent more likely to risk their health from over-drinking than people in metropolitan areas, according to 2022-23 data from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare.
Professor Julaine Allan from Charles Sturt University researches alcohol use in rural communities and said Australia had a pervasive drinking culture, which was stronger in rural areas.
“Very often in small places everything revolves around a drinking venue,” Prof Allan said.
Even school-related meetings might occur at the pub because it is the only gathering place in town, she said.
“All social events involve drinking, all celebrations involve drinking, and it’s a regular pastime for many people in rural areas.”
No privacy in small towns
Brown said, in Australia, a bottle of wine or slab of beer was treated like currency, and was often given as a gift.
“It’s a way we thank somebody for borrowing their ute or for helping them move house or doing some work on the farm,” she said.
Brown said alcohol was so ingrained in the social fabric and the sporting culture of small towns that giving up alcohol could be stigmatised.
It could also make getting help a hurdle.
Sobriety coach Noelene Brown says she gets double the amount of enquiries during the holiday season.
Photo: ABC Wimmera / Gillian Aeria
Before she became a sobriety coach, Brown was drinking two bottles of wine a day to “deaden the hurt” from a series of losses including the death of a loved one.
When she decided to seek help after decades of over-drinking, she was working in allied health in a town in western WA.
The last thing she wanted was to show up at a local Alcoholics Anonymous meeting or participate in a programme with someone she might run into at the supermarket or school gate.
Feeling there was no way to maintain her privacy, she reached out to an American programme that could be done remotely, which led her to be invited to become a sobriety coach.
Prof Allan said it was a similar situation for female pharmacists driving long distances for a pap smear, to avoid being treated by the doctor they work with.
Besides confidentiality concerns, people worried about their drinking also feared they might be judged by their health practitioners, Prof Allan said.
“People don’t go to their doctor to talk about their drinking, and they’re not necessarily asked,” she said.
“It’s often an event like losing your licence, or having an accident, or some other crisis point that raises the red flag about people’s drinking … if these things don’t happen there’s no reason to talk about it.”
Prof Allan said the de-stigmatising of mental illness had improved and she would like to see the same shift when talking about drug and alcohol concerns.
Be prepared for questions
The pub is often the main venue for rural social functions and community meetings, says Professor Julaine Allan.
Photo: ABC News / Sarah Abbott
Around this time of year, Brown said the number of enquiries and visits to her coaching business website doubled.
She said people were seeking advice on navigating social situations, managing their alcohol intake amid celebrations, or looking to set up post-Christmas health plans.
Brown also said she has been invited to events that had not catered well to people who did not drink, and that she would like to see more alcohol-free options on offer.
“A few bottles of soda water and a couple of lemons goes a very long way to make someone feel included,” she said.
For guests, it could be as simple as bringing your own drinks and having your own transport so you’re able to leave an event if you start to feel uncomfortable, she said.
“You can’t rely on the host to know you’re not drinking or you’re struggling.”
Brown’s main advice to people cutting back or not drinking was to have a response ready for questions about why you were not drinking.
“Whatever your reason is, make sure you’re comfortable with it and practice it so it just rolls off your tongue when you’re offered a drink,” she said.
She suggests that when offered an alcoholic drink, instead of saying “No, I’m not drinking” – which can invite more questions – lead with something affirmative like “Yes, I’d love a drink, could you get me a soda water please?”, so there’s no comeback.
And if you’re feeling uncomfortable standing around at a function, just “dig in” so you keep occupied.
Ask the host how you can help, hand food around, or help in the kitchen, she said.
– ABC
Discussion about this post