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How would you have handled two women swimming in your pool if you were the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys?
Would you call the cops on them? As Troy Aikman tells the story, he came home one night years ago to women helping themselves to his pool.
ESPN commentator Troy Aikman looks on before the game between the Chicago Bears and the Philadelphia Eagles at Soldier Field on Sept. 28, 2026, in Chicago, Ill. (Getty Images)
“I was single,” he recalled in a recent podcast. “I was living by myself at my house, and I came home and I had two fans, two female fans, that were swimming in my pool in my backyard…I called the police and just said, ‘Hey, I’ve got some intruders and somebody could come take care of this.’”
TROY AIKMAN RESPONDS TO REPORT OF TENSIONS IN THE BOOTH WITH JOE BUCK OVER CONTRACT SITUATION
“[Michael] Irvin laughs. He said the police would have been the last people he was calling, which is a pretty good indication of Michael and I being a little different.”
Of course, in the comments, people assumed the worst would’ve happened to Troy.
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Am I the only one watching football games on mute?
• Michael P. in Allons, TN checks in: You’re definitely not the only one. Gus Johnson is an automatic mute for me (by far the worst). Tessitore, Fowler and Herbstreit get to be too much later in the game. All the screaming on a simple first-down play is exhausting, and it only escalates as tight games go on. Throw in most sideline reporting and coach interviews, completely useless.
While Al Michaels gets a lot of heat for showing no emotion, I’d much prefer that style over screaming on every play. My two favorite play-by-play announcers are Tom Hart and Jason Benetti.
Kinsey: Benetti is great. He stays steady. Doesn’t over-sell the action. I have been anti-Fowler for years. I’m not sure what his deal is, but to me it’s always felt like Fowler feels superior to the common man, the fan who pays the bills. And Herbie is just spread too thin. I had to mute him Saturday night when he identified a Notre Dame safety as “No. 28” making a big play. No kidding, we all could see the number on his jersey.
That’s Luke Talich, who is not some grad transfer. The guy is in his fourth year playing for Notre Dame. Herbie should’ve known the guy’s name just based on a few days of research.
I cannot recommend Skycast enough. No broadcasters, just action, and no commercials.
• Mike in Las Vegas says it’s not all doom and gloom watching these broadcasts: Your column is a must read every morning. Thanks for all you do! Am I the only guy who raises the volume when Carrie Underwood sings, Waitin’ for Sunday Night?
We need more political signs like this
Is this a bad sign for the future of Topgolf?
Back in May, the company laid off hundreds of workers across the U.S., but since then things have quieted down. Now, based on this new deal, some are wondering if the golf range industry is on the verge of collapse. Don’t buy the funeral proceedings. New locations are still opening.
Wilmington, OH
• Chris B. asks: Anything worth going to eat or see in this area. Here for work the next couple of days and possibly have Wednesday and Thursday night open if my buddy can’t make it into town for work as might have to be in Alabama instead.
Kinsey: Sorry, I have no idea what to do in town. I haven’t been there since the Bengals held training camp at Wilmington College in the 1990s.
GOO GOO DOLLS’ JOHN RZEZNIK DRAWS LINE ON POLITICS AT CONCERTS: ‘I’M NOT GOING TO LECTURE YOU’
Have you ever walked out of a concert gone woke?
• Paul in Vegas had to walk out of a recent show: Yes, we walked out of a concert about nine months ago out here in Vegas where we live. It was the band, The Fixx. Super small venue too, and we were in the front row. We paid to sit up front because they put on a good show. Unfortunately, about four songs in, they decided to make a comparison between masked terrorists from the Middle East in the 90’s, and the fact that they didn’t think they would see them again in the United States. This was an obvious inference to ICE agents. It was right after those two deaths of the wack jobs.
Me and my wife had had instituted a no politics/woke policy right before that. I don’t go to concerts much and she finally coaxed me to go to this concert. She was very upset as well, and we both stood up and walked out right in the middle of a song. It was pretty obvious since we were in the front row and right in front of the lead singer. As we were walking out, we heard somebody say “F$&k ICE”. As I we were nearing the exit, one fan looked at us and said “where are you going?” And I told him I’m not gonna stand for this political crap. In hindsight, I have tremendous regret I didn’t stand up right then and there, just 6 feet from him when he said it, and made a big deal and got myself kicked out. It would’ve been a better way to go out. Crummy part is as we hit the door, they started playing my favorite song in their catalog. Figures. Great part was my wife was in complete symphony on it instantly, and that actually was a wonderful bonding moment.
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• Phil from Virginia shares: I’ve got one that predates even Brad’s 1979 one. In 1976, Jerry Brown was running for President and raising money by going around to concerts with his GF Linda Ronstadt and the Eagles. I saw the ad for it happening that night at the old Capital Centre in Landover, MD, went by my then-GF’s desk at work and said “wanna see the Eagles tonight?”
We saw the Eagles, Linda, Dan Fogleberg, Jackson Browne, and Joe Walsh before he formally joined the Eagles. Great concert, and I guess they hauled Jerry out on stage at one point, but I don’t remember anything he said. It was 50 years ago, after all.
BTW, my then-GF is now my wife of 49 years.
THE CRAIG CARTON SHOW–UNFILTERED, UNAPOLOGETIC AND UNMISSABLE. DOWNLOAD HIS DAILY PODCAST NOW!
If the Indians are going to make the World Series, they better get moving
• Kirk B. in Duluth checks in: Milwaukee being in the World Series last time was 1982 now 44 years later in 2026. I would like to see a Cleveland Indians Milwaukee Brewers World Series
ZERO BS. JUST DAKICH. TAKE THE DON’T @ ME PODCAST ON THE ROAD. DOWNLOAD NOW!
Here’s my take: In 1989 The Major League Movie was released it was about the always “loveable losers” the Cleveland Indians which part of the movie was filmed at the old Milwaukee County Stadium and 3rd base sits out in the parking lot at American Family Field in Milwaukee WI.
AI was created for bits like this where CFB coaches who lost on Saturday do an NPR Tiny Desk singalong
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And that is it this morning as we head into a beautiful week of weather full of sunshine, which, around here, you have to take advantage of before the clouds off the Great Lakes move in.
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Let’s go get after it.
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