If you’ve ever compared your ex to a cockroach, rat, or other vermin in general, the San Antonio Zoo has some news for you: Now, they actually can be. The fourth annual Cry Me A Cockroach fundraiser is back, allowing us to live out our pettiest daydreams with some harmless fun (well, except for the rats and roaches).
Whether you’re harboring hard feelings for an ex, old boss, or former BFF, here’s how you can blow off some steam—and help out the San Antonio Zoological Society, a non-profit organization committed to securing a bright future for wildlife.
Er, yeah … that’s the main reason we’re doing this.
Cry Me A Cockroach
The San Antonio Zoo finding a way to capitalize on our common urge to be petty is nothing short of pure, slightly-evil genius. Its Cry Me A Cockroach fundraiser took the world by storm in 2018, and it’s easy to see why. Equal parts gross and hilarious, this novel format shook up the traditional fundraising model in the best possible way.
In exchange for a $5, $10, or $25 donation, Texas’ San Antonio Zoo will symbolically name a cockroach, rat, or veggie after your not-so-special someone. Zoo workers will feed “(Insert Your Ex’s Name Here)” to one of the zoo’s animals. Then, you’ll receive two digital download cards: one showing your support of the fundraiser and another informing your honoree that an animal at the SAZ “ate” them.
If sending a card to someone informing them they were named after a bug and devoured by a wild animal isn’t petty enough, you also have the option to up your donation to $150 in exchange for a personalized video message of the vermin of your choice being fed to one of the zoo’s animals, like this owl.
(We should note that the SAZ prohibits the use of profanity in its customized videos. So, you know—prepare to edit.)
Throwing Shade And Raising Funds
The zoo’s annual fundraiser is open to participants around the world. All proceeds from the Cry Me A Cockroach fundraiser go toward helping the non-profit achieve its goal of “inspiring the community to love, engage with, act for, and protect animals and the places they live.”
Not to discourage you from naming your ex after a cockroach, but the SAZ even takes good care of those creepy crawlers, too. The SAZ was the first zoological facility in the world to be accredited and certified by the Association of Zoos and Aquariums, the Zoological Association of America, and the American Humane Conservation program. So when you participate in this fundraiser, you’re helping an institution that cares for all its critters, big and small.
The zoo even offers additional Cry Me A Cockroach merchandise, including t-shirts and mugs—which are great for anyone who wouldn’t have a heart attack upon seeing a “cockroach” on a shirt or coffee cup out of the corner of their eye.
The real question is, which ex gets the honor of being named first?
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