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When you think of people who have profited from the legal sex industry, particularly pornographers, names spring to mind like Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt, Ron Jeremy, Michelangelo, Botticelli, Van Gogh …
Oh, didn’t you know? That’s right, some of the greatest classical artists of all time, particularly of the Renaissance, were actually notorious smut peddlers.
Well, at least to some infertile Floridian minds, where the principal of Tallahassee Classical School was forced to resign last week after a parent complained that sixth-graders studying art history were exposed to Michelangelo’s David sculpture.
A number of parents complained about the lesson to the school board, with one describing the sculpture as “pornographic”. The lewd lesson in question also included Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam painting and Botticelli’s Birth of Venus.
By that thinking, I guess all the breasts and bottoms on display make the Sistine Chapel the Pornhub of the 16th century.
Botticelli clearly had a fish fetish, painting his depiction of a nudie-rudie Venus standing in the shell of a giant mollusc. At least she was making some kind of effort to disguise the naughty bits with her locks. Unlike Leonardo da Vinci, whose most famous sketch Vitruvian Man should probably have been titled A Beginner’s Guide to Drawing Porn.
Proud pornographer Pablo Picasso didn’t even bother to draw eyes on his Nude in a Rocking Chair, so obsessed as he was with getting the nipples right. And he also clearly had a freaky fetish for two-dimensional women. Van Gogh’s self-portrait, sans ear, was obviously just some sort of sick S&M role-play gone wrong. And as for his famous sunflower; well, OK, that was probably just a sunflower.
Obviously, protecting kids from adult-oriented material cannot be downplayed. Every parent should have the right to check and double-check what their kids are being shown at school. Indeed, there are some contemporary artworks that should perhaps be reserved for older students studying art for the HSC.
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