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Key events
15th over: Pakistan 47-0 (Shafique 19, Imam ul-Haq 26) Imam absolutely creams Leach through cover for four, the only run from the over, and England need to hope it starts reversing pronto.
14th over: Pakistan 43-0 (Shafique 19, Imam ul-Haq 22) I blathered about this in the summer, but while South Africa were whacking England at Lord’s, I was chatting to a mate of a mate about why that was happening, and he said “We’ve got a saying in Pakistan.” I prepared myself for beautiful aphorism, and he went “Pace is pace”. Which is just perfect because it’s so true, and when it’s that true, tautology beats flowers. It it what it is – and, as per James Wade, it isn’t what it isn’t. Send in your favourite tautologies! Anyway, we digress: England don’t have pace, but Pakistan do and look how that worked out. Two byes off the over.
13th over: Pakistan 41-0 (Shafique 19, Imam ul-Haq 22) I wonder whether, if England were going to bowl spin from both ends this early, they might’ve picked another frontliner? I absolutely wondered how they were going to get 20 wickets when I saw the team and I’m still wondering now, even with their 12th man, SB Pressure. Anyhow, Imam turns Leach around the corner for four, the only runs from the over.
12th over: Pakistan 37-0 (Shafique 19, Imam ul-Haq 18) Morning everyone and thanks Tanya. I did indeed spill some fabric softener, right as my wife arrived home, but you’ll be ecstatic to know we’re all good and still married. Anyway, in less important news, Will Jacks is bowling his first over in Test cricket – what a moment, what a feeling! – and after two dots, Shafique takes a step down and wristies him through midwicket for four. Next ball, he bangs to mid off and clobbers Robinson in the shin, a right sair yin; naturally, his new-ball partner enjoys a chuckle as they batsmen run one, anda further single follows.
11th over: Pakistan 31-0 (Safiq 14, Imam ul-Haq 17) Me again briefly as Daniel is wrestling with some fabric softener. A Leach maiden.
10th over: Pakistan 31-0 (Safiq 14, Imam ul-Haq 17) Robinson again, two slips and a not too silly mid-on. A raucous cheer for a couple of runs for Shafique, and with that I’ll hand over to Daniel Harris, who will take you through the rest of the day. Thanks for the emails as ever, bye!
9th over: Pakistan 27-0 (Safiq 10, Imam ul-Haq 17) Imam has an agricultural heave at Leach and Stokes brings another fielder up. Bam! Imam, face covered in white suncream, shovels him for six over mid-wicket.
8th over: Pakistan 21-0 (Safiq 10, Imam ul-Haq 11) oooh there was a sniff of an outside edge on that Ollie Robinson drop in the previous over. Anyway, Robinson pounds away, and Shafique cover drives him with a Carlos Acosta foot dab and a glorious swish of the bat.
Afternoon session
7th over: Pakistan 17-0 (Safiq 6, Imam ul-Haq 11) A high seam position for Leach, collar up, glasses on, sleeves rolled down. One squeezes past Imam’s bat but out of Pope’s gloves. An excellent maiden.
In the studio Jos Buttler is talking sense in his baby-bird soft, yet authoritative voice.
“Splendidly entertaining stuff from England,” writes Kim Thonger, “but let’s not forget Jack Leach’s fine knock of 6 from 18 balls. That’s a proper old school test match strike rate consistent with a game lasting into the fifth day. There’s a man who thinks not only of the high rollers attending the first and second days, but also cares deeply for the common man (or woman) who can only afford the reduced price seat on day 5. God bless him.”
And here is Jack Leach to start the afternoon session, ball in hand.
Overseas link
Stop that thought, Chris Drew writes with the link for the official PCB livestream, which he has working outside the UK. Click here .
A few people have asked about the TMS overseas link. Apparently there isn’t one when they’re broadcasting from abroad, I’m afraid.
Another eye-rubbing morning, Harry Brook was astounding in his bullishness in only his second Test – and finished with the highest century of the innings – 153 off 116 balls, with cameos from Stokes, Jacks and Robinson. Ok, so England lost six for 151 but once you go past 600, really, what does it matter? Three wickets for Naseem Shah, who was the pick of the bowlers and four for Zahid Mahmood, the most expensive debutant of all time. Zahid, there are a few legspinners in England who’ll take you out for a coffee. I’m going to take a quick break, back before the restart at 8.30am.
Lunch: Pakistan 17-0, 640 runs behind
6th over: Pakistan 17-0 (Safiq 6, Imam ul-Haq 11) That’s just delightful, an on-drive by Imam that sings across the rope. He cuts the next from Robinson through cover, but it is halted before it can run over the boundary boards. A couple of singles and that’s that. Pakistan survive their initial six overs, and everyone retires for an extended lunch of an hour because of Friday prayers.
5th over: Pakistan 8-0 (Safiq 5, Imam ul-Haq 3,) The arse-end of a chance as Duckett is hit hard on the hand at short leg by Shafique, but pretty impossible to do anything with. A maiden for Anderson on the world’s flattest pitch.
4th over: Pakistan 8-0 (Imam ul-Haq 3, Safiq 5) A squirt to fine leg for a couple as Robinson continues to probe dangerously.
3rd over: Pakistan 6-0 (Imam ul-Haq 1, Safiq 5) Anderson immaculate – line and length.
From Australia, Richard Stant writes in: ”I’m enjoying it from sunny Australia. I’m kicking a ball for my puppies, a Kelpie and a border collie, and keeping an eye on the score. Enjoy the cricket. Hope the weather cheers up for you Poms.”
Why thank you Richard. I’m going to Chatsworth later today, so hoping for crisp yet sunny.
2nd over: Pakistan 3-0 (Imam ul-Haq 0, Safiq 3) Robinson stands at the end of his long run, 12 giant steps from the crease. Some neat movement, a bit of dangerous swing in to the pads. Shafique drives him gorgeously square for four. – no actually make that two after some snappy fielding on the boundary by Leach.
“Hi Tanya,” Good morning Brian Withington.
”No flooding or flexing to report from sleepy Dorridge this morning (it’s an event when I listen to Mahler, never mind conduct it).
”Let’s just hope this morning session has taught England a lesson about proper test cricket and there will be no more talk of B**ball and associated bollocks.”
Brian, may I introduce you to the Spirit of Cricket (future)?
1st over: Pakistan 1-0 (Imam ul-Haq 0, Safiq 1) A bespectacled left hander carefully plays out five balls of a 40 year old bowler on Test debut in Pakistan. A pinch of swing and a dollop of accuracy.
And so endeth the lesson, with England reaching 657 before lunch on the second day. Jimmy has the new ball, Pakistan are already out in the middle, and I have coffee.
WICKET! Anderson c Imam ul Haq b Zahid Mahmood 6 (England 657 all out)
100th over: England 657 all out ( Leach 6) Jimmy plops forward the front leg, sweeps, top edges, and Imam takes the catch at square leg. Anderson and Leach plod off, Pakistan drift off behind Babar to lick their wounds. The world’s most expensive debutant, Zahid Mahmood, finishes with 4-235.
99th over: England 653-9 ( Leach 5, Anderson 1) The overhead camera shows a good scattering of crowd with Rawalpindi stretching out in the distance. England add a run or two to their heady total.
”Hi Tanya! I’m up early OBOing and downing enough coffee to power a family car. I don’t have a burst pipe to worry about, nor have my children burst into the room — I’m conducting Mahler today and can never sleep the night before I flail/perform. Wish me luck as I follow & pore over my score…” Felix Kirkby, that, I believe, is what the young people call a flex. Good luck!
99th over: England 651-9 ( Leach 5, Anderson 1) Jimmy Anderson, aged 40, comes in to bat in Pakistan for the first time. He pockets a single then it’s all action as first Leach encroaches down the pitch and seems to get an edge to slip – but not out. Then a genuine thick edge to a Zahid googly, put down by Babar Azam at slip.
WICKET! Robinson lbw Mahmood 37 (England 649-9)
The drinks break does for Robinson! Goes for the reverse-swipe, misses and is trapped. He reviews immediately, but it is umpire’s call so off he must go.
98th over: England 647-8 (Robinson 35, Leach 4) At last Mohammad Ali is being treated with respect. Here come the onfield bottles of fizzy water, I’m going to run and put the kettle on …
97th over: England 646-8 (Robinson 34, Leach 4) Forget what I said earlier, Lunch is actually in an hour. Shah crunches through another over.
“Avid Pakistan supporter here,” writes Meherwan Polad, “but wouldn’t mind our getting flogged in this Test so that we finally stop preparing such wickets. Would rather lose a test in 3 days while giving our fast bowlers a chance. I’ve had this hope before though – but the PCB never learns from these lessons. So sad – these thome test series against the top test teams are so rare and should be so precious for Pakistan fans.”
Firm agree, miserable for the bowlers.
96th over: England 645-8 (Robinson 33, Leach 0) After the departure of Jacks, Leach almost goes without scoring after setting off for a non-existent run and being sent back by the unmoving Robinson. With a direct hit, Leach would have been run-out, but the fielder misses and the ball ends up over the rope. Babar’s air wrestling body-language suggests he’s not happy.
WICKET! Will Jacks c Naseem b Mohammad Ali 30 (England 641-8)
Jacks wafts leg side and is caught at mid=wicket.
95th over: England 637-7 (Robinson 33, Jacks 26) Thinking about becoming a svengali in my spare time and starting a cricket boy band. Naseem Shah definitely makes the cut as the sensitive floppy haired one, whose special skill is bowling at 90mph. Anyway, six off the over with a bit of this, bit of that.Five minutes till lunch.
94th over: England 632-7 (Robinson 30, Jacks 24) Runs of a useful nature, as the ground starts to fill.
“Morning, Tanya.” Hello Smylers! “I was wondering if anybody else is in the OBO–Advent of Code intersection, since they both start each morning at 5 UK time? Advent of Code provides a puzzle each day, requiring knocking up a quick computer program to find the answer. This year we’re helping Santa’s elves find special star fruit to provide magic energy for his reindeer. Today’s puzzle involves Elves playing rock-paper-scissors.”
Respect to anyone who can knock up a computer programme at 5am.
93rd over: England 628-7 (Robinson 26, Jacks 23) This is the real thing, here comes Naseem – who has been struggling with a sore shoulder this morning – with the new ball.He pushes back his thick black fringe, adjusts his chain, and runs in. Jacks sends a wide one screaming through extra cover for four, then four more up and away to bring up the fifty partnership with Robinson.
Zahid Mahmood’s figures of 31-1-227-2 make him the most expensive debutant in Test cricket history. We’ve all been there.
92nd over: England 616-7 (Robinson 18, Jacks 13) Mohammad Ali takes the new ball – it isn’t the most potent combination. Robinson swipes at the first, but then cracks two fours, one through extra cover and one down the ground.
91st over: England 608-7 (Robinson 18, Jacks 13) An over from Zahid in which England pass their highest score against Pakistan and, with a smote for six from Robinson, scream past 600.
90th over: England 598-7 (Robinson 9, Jacks 12) Robinson gives Mohammad Ali some late-hour respect, carefully blocking his last three balls.
“Poker used to be played by gnarled old pros in backrooms of casinos using the same skills and techniques for decades,” taps Hugh Malloy. “Then, online poker happened and the next generation were able to communicate and share techniques data on how to play. The result? Players became far, far more aggressive. They realised that betting big, even without the best hand, forced your opponent onto the back foot. Yes, you may well have you bluff called, but optimal play says that you will make more by not being afraid. “
So Bazball was confected in the (online) poker hall?
89th over: England 596-7 (Robinson 8, Jacks 11) The dog gets up, turns round and round five times before settling back down on the sofa with a deflated sigh. Jacks twice attempts a reverse-sweep off Zahid, to no reward.
And as a counter to Becky Chantry and her blissful Cyprus mornings I bring you Daniel Ironside. “Wowsers, that was quite a day. We will come to the cricket in a minute but first i must recount what happened approximately 2 minutes after i d sent an email to your fine self.
“Water, everywhere cascading bountifully over my lovely wooden floors. The culprit was a leaky pipe that led to the sink next to where i was sat. Diary, phone- all getting very wet as my morning brain attempted to unscramble what was developing before my eyes. No thought was cogent, i was in pure fight, flight freeze mode as i attempted manfully to direct the flow and stem the tide armed with only a small towel. Slowly the phrase stop cock, not one i wish to use to often, wafted forward from the vestiges of my prehistorically tuned mind. I seized my torch manfully/personfully and bestrode my way out side. I lifted the outside water drain cover and oh so sweetly, after some semi frenzied attempts at turning it off, managed to cut off the water supply to my household. It was a strangely bitter sweet moment as i realised i had done something ridiculously simple but never before attempted and then the slow burning of reality seeped through as i had to face the reality of clear up and painful costs.
It was, suffice to say, not really what i needed in my life before 6 30 in the morning. All was well in the end and i am incredibly fortunate to have a lovely plumber neighbour called Matt who came the same morning and sorted for what i think was a remarkably reasonable cost. HUGE shout out to you Matt, you saved my morning.”
88th over: England 593-7 (Robinson 7, Jacks 9) Naseem gets a break at last, and Mohammad Ali is summoned back into the attack – not, you imagine, with any great confidence by Babar. Relatively tidy, and that’s DRINKS!
87th over: England 589-7 (Robinson 5, Jacks 8) Mahmood continues to bowl through the agony, possibly because Haris Rauf is off the field. He now wears the air of an uncle forced to bowl at all the nieces and nephews when all he really wants to do is sit and read the paper. To make matters worse, Robinson inelegantly flails him for four.
85th over: England 576-6 (Robinson 0, Jacks 0) Will Jacks’ first boundary in Tests comes off his sixth ball, when he drives Naseem through the covers for four with a stately air. Ollie Robinson keeps out a good length ball that is creeping low.
Becky Chantry, who yesterday was watching the sun rise on her balcony has now gone a step further: “I’m currently sipping bucks fizz for breakfast (still in Cyprus) refreshed after a dip in the sea yesterday. Trying to take this morning’s tumble of wickets in the positive sense that England are trying to keep the game moving…”
84th over: England 576-6 (Robinson 0, Jacks 0) A third wicket of the morning for Shah, some relief for Pakistan, with two new batters at the crease after the end of a magnificent innings from Harry Brook – doing all he has been doing for Yorkshire, and more.
WICKET! Brook c Saud Shakeel b Naseem Shah 153 (England 576-7)
Hauls Naseem to deep square leg where Shakeel accepts another catch – 116 balls, five sixes, 19 fours, the fourth fastest 150 in Test cricket after Roy Fredricks, Mahela Jayawardene, and Brendon McCullum. Incredible in just his second Test.
83rd over: England 568-6 (Brook 145, Jacks 0) Zahid Mahmood puts his hands on his hips as Brook casually reverse-sweeps for six, sweeps for four, reverse-sweeps for another four, leans back and hammers him for four more, dallies down the pitch and spatulates him for six, before top-edging inelegantly for three. 27 from the over – the best over for a batting side for England in 29.Poor Mahmood now has 2-208 on debut.
82nd over: England 541-6 (Brook 118, Jacks 0) A super over from Naseem: first Livingstone’s wicket, then he cracks debutant Will Jacks full on the pad first ball. Babar is persuaded to take a review, but the ball passes safely down past leg.
If you’re watching, do email me and help me stay awake. So tempting to just quickly close your eyes…
WICKET! Livingstone c Saud Shakeel b Naseem Shah 9 England (539-6)
Livingstone gives a one-legged flamingo flick, Pietersen-esque, and the ball flies to deep mid-wicket where Shakeel takes the catch.
81st over: England 539-5 (Brook 117, Livingstone 9) Livingstone quick-steps down the pitch and loops Mahmood for six, then wrinkles his nose under his helmet as if it didn’t quite sing. No new ball as yet.
80th over: England 529-5 (Brook 114, Livingstone 2) A neat and tidy over from Naseem Shah, England are watchful. A brief period of calm has fallen over Ralwalpindi.
79th over: England 527-5 (Brook 113, Livingstone 1) Liam Livingstone is off the mark …with a calm and respectful single through the covers off Zahid Mahmood. A dodgy bit of fielding brings Brook a couple more to finish the over and there are six more balls due before Pakistan can take the new ball.
78th over: England 522-5 (Brook 110, Livingstone 0) Just the one miserly run from Naseem Shah’s over.
77th over: England 522-5 (Brook 109, Livingstone 0) Harry Brook brings his bat down, and flicks Zahid Mahmood, with a careless air, over long-on for six. Beautiful! Livingstone survives his first ball in Test cricket.
76th over: England 515-5 (Brook 102, Livingstone 0) The barmy army are still half way through Jerusalem when Ben Stokes steps and hollers Naseem Shah’s second ball for six – up, up and away. The commentators are still talking about whether Stokes could beat Botham to England’s fastest fifty when he’s done by a clever bit of bowling by Naseem Shah.
Morning session – WICKET! Ben Stokes b Naseem Shah 41 (England 515-5)
A slower ball, off-cutter, which clips the top of middle stump as Stokes backs away!
On Sky, they’ve just run highlights of the last day of Old Trafford 2001, followed by highlights of yesterday. Crazy days.
Just to recap yesterday’s numbers:
Most runs scored on the first day of a Test.
First team to pass 500 on the first day of a Test.
First team to score four hundreds on day one of a Test
Most runs in the opening session of a Test.
Fastest double century opening partnership in Test cricket.
“The pitch is not much different,” reports Michael Atherton at the ground. “It is hard and baked and it is just not hot enough for the cracks to open. It will be very hard to get into Pakistan’s line-up. There will be small windows of opportunity when the ball starts to reverse and the spinners will have to do a holding job, but it will be very hard work.”
Preamble
“Will you have eggs with your chips madam?” Yes please, plus mayonnaise, caviar, chocolate cake and trifle. And while I’m at it, please can you put the cricket on?
On gorged England at Rawalpindi yesterday, clocking up runs at six an over, locking up hundreds for Crawley, Duckett, Pope and Brook, cracking past 500, leaping over the all-time opening day record of 494 for six that had stood for 111 years, until bad light at last gave Pakistan from respite.
Will they aim for the perfect thousand? On this track, flatter than a peppermint cream, against this inexperienced Pakistan Test attack, they probably could. They probably won’t. But whatever they do, it will be worth watching. Play starts at 5am GMT.
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