[ad_1]
As the events in Ukraine escalate – and fears of nuclear conflict ratchet up to cold war levels – children may need extra reassurance. But, say experts, the extreme nature of the crisis means carers should look at specialist techniques to help calm anxieties.
Mike Hughesman, a former principal educational psychologist for Service Children’s Education who has worked with children whose parents and carers are in active combat in Afghanistan and Germany, said that in acute contexts like these, it is “vital that we source advice on the lived experiences of families that have faced adversity and learned to deal with it successfully.
“Too much advice is based on the study of patients who have experienced difficulty and found it hard to cope with adversity,” he said. “Not enough is based on study of the lived experiences of families and individuals that succeed against the odds.”
Hughesman recommends solution-focused therapy. “It empowers people to seek out what helps them to succeed, rather than dwell on all the reasons why they haven’t,” he said.
In short, he said, parents and carers must deal first with their children’s emotions before calmly exploring the facts as the children themselves see them. The next steps are to help children stay grounded on a day-to-day basis through routines. “Finally,” he said. “We need to find ways to help them be proactive and overcome their sense of powerlessness.”
Prof Vivian Hill, programme director at UCL Institute of Education’s department of psychology and human development, warned that fake news on social media can make the situation feel even more frightening and unpredictable than it is already.
“It is important to reassure children and talk to them in a way that reflects their age and understanding,” she added.
“Don’t overcomplicate things for younger children: stick to the facts. Older children may want to discuss political and historical events. Use reliable sources to support this process. Children are best supported by people they can trust but they may feel too frightened to even ask about this so be sensitive to their mood.”
She recommended talking to children about diplomacy, how nobody wants there to be a nuclear attack and everything possible will be done to find a safer way to resolve this conflict. “Try to remain optimistic,” she said. “Keep to routines, do pleasurable and diverting activities with your children.”
To remain optimistic, Hill said it was important for parents and carers to be aware of their own feelings and to get support from friends and family. “Some may be able to lean on support from older generations who have lived through the cold war and have direct experiences to draw on,” she said.
Judith Wenban-Smith, a forensic psychologist with a special interest in families, advised that it was important to acknowledge to a child how worrying it can be to think about nuclear weapons but that they should be reassured that all countries have nuclear weapons held in very safe ways and are determined not to use them.
“Then encourage the child to do something, like join CND, ask for a school assembly on the subject, contribute to a campaign or fundraiser,” she said. “Parents should not dominate the conversation: encourage the child to talk and respond to their worries specifically.”
[ad_2]
Source link